For reasons best known to themselves, Tacheback sponsors Topman put a bag and a bottle of water in the goodie back that all we par-tay attendees left clutching in our hairy mitts.
I've brought the bottle of water to work with me, as I, er, melted the old one I had (but that's another story).
Call me sad ("Oi, Sad!", etc), but I found myself reading the smallprint on the back of the bottle.

Now I don't know if you can make that out, it's a bit blurry, but...
"AVOID CHEWING"?